dude i'm inner monologue high
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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