The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize