She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize