It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
