before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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