plz talk dirty to me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize