Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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