i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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