i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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