Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
