i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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