Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Found the puke drawer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
