He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
