Your mouth is God's brothel.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
