His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
