She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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