Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
