I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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