Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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