Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize