I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
