the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
