What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
