dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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