so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
