I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
