i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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