Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
