Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
