I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
