Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
