She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
