He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
