Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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