Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
