Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
