I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
