You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
