She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
