Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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