now i know why i became what i already was.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
