Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
