just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My ATM looks so different sober.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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