i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I stole a fireplace last night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
