it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she smelled like a LAN party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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