I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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