My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
