I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
