i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
