He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
