It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize