i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
