If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
