I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
