Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am midnight drunk by noon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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