I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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