it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
