i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Holy sore nipples Batman
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
