capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
